What's Love Got To Do With It??


Sex and Love.  How does your condition affect those aspects of your life?  Well, Lupus and other auto-immune diseases definitely have a significant impact.  Tiredness and pain is common for many Lupus patients.  This can affect our relationships with the people in our lives.  Romantic relationships being the most involved, are the most affected by these conditions.  


Our romantic relationships are sometimes strained when we can not do all of the things we want and need to do for our significant other.  Lupus can affect our behavior and appearance.  Some of us may be sensitive to these changes and feel that our partner doesn't understand.  The most important thing to do in this situation is to communicate effectively.  Make sure your partner knows and understands how you feel physically and emotionally.  You should also know exactly how your partner feels as well. I had trouble with the communication thing at first.  I have always been a very private person, so expressing those feelings even to someone I care about was difficult.  I didn't want to be a burden, or make anyone worry, let alone my partner.  I eventually learned that expressing my feelings and condition would make me feel better, as well as my partner.  Talking it out is helpful. 


Your sex life and closeness in the relationship can also be affected. Physically you may have pain and fatigue that can prevent you from enjoying lovemaking.  You should try to reduce pain with painkillers, warm baths, massage and other various relaxation techniques.  In order to counter fatigue you should make love at the time of day that you feel the least tired.  For example, if you feel exhausted at night, you should make love in the morning or afternoon.  Again, you have to communicate.  If you do not feel like or do not want to make love, then let your partner know and also explain why.  If they love you, then they will understand.  If not, then tell them to hit the road, because they don't deserve you!!!  


Remember that being close to someone in their arms can also be a loving experience! And it will sometimes be more comfortable for you.  Take care of yourself and express how you feel.  It will make life much easier.


With Love 

2 comments:

NikStar said...

great advice Simone!

Simmi said...

Thanks Nik!! It actually applies to everybody. People with chronic illnesses are not the only ones who don't want to make love sometimes you know. We all have our reasons!!

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